Why is it that being “realistic” automatically gives the feeling that things will go wrong? Sadly, many accept this as a fact of life. On the other hand, positive people who think the contrary are considered naïve and are out of touch with reality. They are accused of being able to fake a smile in the face of difficulty. But are positive people only faking their happiness or could there be something behind their positivity?
The reality is: nothing is wrong with positive people who are genuinely happy in most situations. The problem lies in mindset of people who mask their fear to act on their dreams. They rationalize this as “just trying to be realistic” to mask their inadequacy.
If you allow yourself to associate reality for something negative (as pessimists do), then you are conditioning your mind into believing that whatever can go wrong will go wrong, and whatever can go right will probably go wrong, too. Clinging to this belief will eventually turn you into a negative person without your being aware of it.
To avoid this negative transformation from getting hold of you, be aware of these tell-tale warnings:
You are becoming a chronic complainer. This encourages the feeling of dissatisfaction in you. When you are dissatisfied, you feel unfulfilled. You feel you are not getting your rightful due in any given situation and make you feel a victim of injustice. This triggers the rebellious in you. With this sentiment, out goes your peace of mind and the chance for a happy existence.
You focus more on what is wrong around you (the terrible weather, the chaotic traffic, the bleak economy, stupid co-workers, etc). Although you are not expected to rejoice over them, thinking of them constantly puts your mind into a negative mode. These unpleasant things happen to all and there is little you can do about them. However, you can control your reactions to them. If blowing off your top, shooting up your blood pressure, or running amok would correct these situations, then go ahead and make a fool of yourself—if not, why jeopardize your health and equanimity over things beyond your control?
You are quick to criticize but slow to praise. This means you only see the bad points in every situation or person you meet. Consider that humans, including you, are not expected to be perfect. Be patient with them as they surely are with you. Remember that patience will achieve happiness and peace of mind and heart.
You prefer reading or watching news on disasters and the dysfunctional trivia about celebrities. Why would you like to throw trash from the street into your living room? This is what you actually do when you waste your time on negative and inane news which deal on negativity. You invite negative vibrations into your home and into your life.
You feel helpless because things happening to you are beyond your control. Although it is easier and more convenient to be negative and give up power, it turns you to a powerless victim. You open yourself to the manipulation of others and be a slave to their whims. Have you ever seen a happy slave? Refuse to be one by holding your ground. Be a leader, not a follower, and the art of good leadership is consider everyone’s opinion but making up your own mind.
You hardly notice any good things happening to be grateful for. Being thankful only for the blessings you receive is not exactly being fully grateful. Complete gratitude that brings in more blessings is a positive and constant reaction to all that comes and happens to your life, even the seemingly unpleasant ones. You should also be thankful for the setbacks that cross your path for they are the free and more effective means to learn from life. They guide and strengthen you towards your goals and by allowing you to actually experience life’s vicissitudes. Experience is a wonderful thing because it enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
Examine your present mindset based on the above signs of negativity. Shake them off your mind before you fall prey to their effects and ruin your chance for happiness.