Criticisms hurt, not exactly because they contradict your opinions, but because they prick your ego. No matter how hard you try to outwardly hide your true feelings, negative feedbacks still have ways to ruin your mood. You do not have to justify or be apologetic about your reaction because it merely confirms you are human. However, because it is not always easy to ignore or let things just pass-through–the-other-ear, here are some tips how to take criticisms with magnanimity and come out more positive because of them:
- Accept criticisms with tongue-in-cheek.
Accept that negative comments are a part of life. You will be in a much worse situation if nobody reacts to what you say or do. It would only prove you are not worth wasting time on. Think that the opposite of love is not hatred but indifference so when people criticize you, it does not mean they do not like you. On the contrary, they may even care for you so they are correcting you on what they perceive is wrong in you. So instead of the hurt, try to feel their affection and caring, hence their criticism.
- Prevention is better than cure.
If you are too thin-skinned for criticism and they over-stress you, the best way is to prevent them before they come up. Most often, negative feedbacks to products or services offered result when adequate information is not provided at the start. Be generous and detailed with your products or services and criticisms will be few and far between.
- Re-focus outside yourself.
Contrary to common belief, yours included, criticizing is not always fun and easy. This is why qualified and genuine critics are looked up upon and even handsomely remunerated. Criticism is a double-edged sword. It could ruin not only the one who is being criticised but the critic as well. If the criticism is not valid, it exposes the critics to the danger exposing their ignorance of the subject, thus jeopardizing their credibility. So every time you get a negative feedback, try to understand what the critic must have gone through. Moving your focus away from yourself will help to alleviate the pain of the criticism. The sooner you start working with critics, the easier your life will be.
- Focus on the song, not the singer
There is often the urge to resort to drastic measures towards those who give negative reviews. This can be self-destructive. Do not take a criticism as a direct assault to you personally. Focus more on what is said rather than the one who delivers it. You could not get mad and stay mad for long to a message, but you could if your anger is directed to another person. By venting your animosity towards somebody, you lose objectivity on the issue. The pain lasts longer because your ego is pricked by a person, but not so if done by an inanimate message. Isolate the issues at hand. Do not allow them to consume you and muddle your ideals.
- Your best weapon for revenge
Instead of getting assailing your critics due to a bruised ego, the most effective weapon to fight them is to prove them wrong! Actually, a criticism is based on a process you are following. The problem actually is not about you or your critics, but about the process. Churning out endless explanations to back-up your side is an exercise in futility. Do not waste your time and energy assailing your critics. Rather, focus your attention in finding solid proofs to prove your point. Before you reply to a negative review, do your homework. Read and re-read it, circulate it around, and ask questions. Find what prompted the negative reviews and based your reply on these reasons. However, be pragmatic about the whole issue. Do not expect others to accept immediately, if at all, your arguments. Everyone is entitled to his/her own opinion so be prepared to accept and respect it. All opinions are subjective. If someone really does not like what you offer, there is really nothing you can do to change their mind. If you have done your best to convince them by presenting strong evidences and they persist on their negativity, then just put the issue to rest. No matter how much information you provide or how smoothly you operate, someone will be unhappy. Just do your best. Focus on the people who like it instead.
- Accept and learn from criticisms
Rather than feeling bad about criticisms and looking at them as stumbling blocks, consider them as effective training tools for improvement. Negative reviews help you discover the kinks in your system. They prevent you from being very complacent which can happen when everything has been going smoothly. Instead of avoiding unpleasant feedbacks, encourage your clients to air their dissatisfactions. Acting promptly on them is far more effective than advertisements and freebies, and less expensive, too. Your timely actions to their criticisms will make them feel important. These can more than make up for the negative things they complained about.
Criticisms are the spice of life. They keep us on our toes at all times. Since you cannot escape them, you may as well learn to live with them. The choice how to react to the criticisms you are impossible to avoid is all up to know. Consider them as enemies and make your life miserable, or befriend them and make them help you attain your goal sooner.