Happiness is commonly associated with love and many cling to the idea that happiness is not possible without the other. Therefore, you enter into relationships that may find you disappointed and disillusioned later. Actually, there is nothing wrong with entering into relationships to find love and happiness, so what goes wrong? The problem starts when you start making your partner the exclusive source of your happiness. You become so attached to your relationship that you crumble when your sole source of happiness leaves and you are left with the feeling of being abandoned.
Perhaps, your relationship has not worked out as planned but it need not mean the end of your happiness. Here some tips on how to reclaim your happiness and can even save your relationship if you so desire:
- Analyze yourself. Be especially aware of these feelings that are tell-tale signs that you are becoming too reliant on your partner for your happiness:
Do you expect your partner to act or respond to you in manners you feel is alright with you?
Do you get upset or annoyed with many things in your relationship, even trivial ones?
Do you find your relationship becoming the centre of your universe?
Do you feel that things everything should be done together as partners?
Did you get a partner to make you feel good?
Having these sentiments may come in any relationship but they are indications that changes are in order if you are to remain happy in yours. You are starting to rely on somebody for your happiness which puts you in a very vulnerable situation. You cannot have a complete control on anybody but yourself.
- Examine your motivation. Do not get into a relationship just to satisfy your own personal quest for happiness. This is a clear case of exploitation which is never acceptable in any relationship. People are humans like you and should not be treated as objects to be used for selfish reasons. Do not try to transform somebody to conform to your idea of what a person should be. When you take somebody into your life, accept and preserve the person’s own identity and individuality. This will ensure harmony and happiness in a relationship.
- Look for happiness in the right places. The spirit of modernism has shifted your search of happiness from within you to the outside. You are deluged with myriad of diversions, mostly of the commercialized nature. You get so attached with the modern gadgets and conveniences that without them, you feel miserably empty. Some have even put tag prices on human emotions. You have to pay to enjoy them. This modernistic shift in thinking has resulted to fragile and fleeting forms of happiness.
To reclaim your happiness, go back to the real nature of true happiness which is only found within you. Do not look for it outside yourself where you have no control at all. Just sit down and listen to your thought. A great way achieve this is by meditation. This practice clears your thought and makes you conscious of your own body and of every soothing vibration it emits. Notice the calmness that envelopes you after each session. A15-minute of meditation is enough for you to reclaim your happiness and well-being. There is a simple truth to the saying that “if you cannot love yourself, you can’t love someone else”. Love and happiness is within you so learn to know yourself.
- Strive to be free. Stop expecting. Many walk around expecting everything to go their way. This attitude results to their perpetual dissatisfaction and miserable feeling. To avoid falling into this unhappy rut, shift your mindset to that of being satisfied and abundant. Do not expect anything as if humanity owes you its full attention and to respond to your every whim and wish because it does not! Get rid of this attitude to feel free. You then become independent of anybody else’s availability, moods, or whims for your happiness wherever and whenever you choose to.
- Develop your own potentials. To complete your quest for an independent and be happy life, explore your own potentials. Discover and hone your latent skills. Join a handicraft-making or a cooking class for example. Enrol in short courses in languages, secretarial skills, accounting, etc. You may also start your own entrepreneurial business. Engaging in these ventures boosts your self-confidence and raises your self-worth. Achievements in your chosen fields lead to your happiness.
Your happiness is your own responsibility and never allow it to depend on anyone else outside yourself. You alone could and should control and keep it going in your life. The quest for happiness is never difficult as many think it to be. In reality, happiness abounds all around you. Every moment in time contains the seed of happiness. You only need to open your senses and your mind to claim it.